Welcome to the Soil and Roots podcast, where we journey together into deep discipleship.
I’m Brian Fisher, and this is Episode 124, “Snakes and Doves.”
You’ve ventured with us into the meat of Season 6, and we’ve been tackling a big question: what does it mean to think, act, relate, and love like Jesus? If Jesus is the object of our spiritual formation, how can we become like him? What is He really like?
Here at Soil and Roots, we’re all about diving beneath the surface. So, we’re attempting to explore this question holistically. We aren’t satisfied with simple explanations that remain in the shallow waters where it’s safe and comfortable.
We just finished discussing Jesus’s tendency to be enigmatic, confusing, and even cryptic. This trait was challenging to people in his day, and it still is today. But if we fail to press into that and ask what it means for us as his followers, we are missing an opportunity to embrace a critical facet of our King.
Today, we’ll be looking at another characteristic of Christ: his remarkable relational discernment.
Jesus possesses an incredible ability to see people for who they truly are, even at a heart level. He demonstrated a nuanced mastery of every situation, as well as a shrewdness in how he dealt with others.
As we seek to embrace and absorb the traits Christ embodied, it’s not enough to just gain head knowledge.
We’ve been exploring how people are hard-wired by God to form beliefs in two ways: through the head and through the heart. We gain knowledge of truth through our minds, but to be complete, our hearts have to experience that truth.
So we want to pursue Jesus not just on an intellectual level, but at a heart level that we can experience. Let’s dig in.
Anecdote: The Great Detective
Out of all the fictional sleuths that mystery writers have given the world, none is so famous as the Great Detective himself, Sherlock Holmes.
In Arthur Conan Doyle’s very first Sherlock Holmes story, “A Scandal in Bohemia,” a disguised man comes to visit Holmes. Sherlock observes the man’s hands, noticing a tan line and roughness. He notes the man’s clothing and the quality of his linen. He perceives the man’s nervousness and attempts to conceal his identity. From these clues, Holmes deduces that the man has traveled by bicycle, that he is a person of high standing who has recently engaged in strenuous activity, and that he is not who he claims to be. Piecing all the clues together on the spot, Sherlock Holmes deduces the man’s true identity as the King of Bohemia, even before the king reveals himself.
Sherlock Holmes has an amazing ability to draw significant conclusions from seemingly insignificant details. Using his keen observation skills and knowledge of human behavior, he is a master of deduction. He can peer through words, through distractions, even through social masks, to see who a person truly is.
The Great Detective seems to possess superhuman abilities as he discerns things no one else can detect. Yet, whenever he explains his trail of deductions, he seems to find it perfectly reasonable to expect that others can do the same. As he regularly puts it: “Elementary, my dear Watson.”
Jesus and Relationships
When we look at Jesus, he displays an ability to see beyond the surface that surpasses even the detective from 221B Baker Street. In an instant, he can discern the heart of the person and the situation.
Now, you might say, “What’s that to me? Jesus is, after all, God.”
We certainly aren’t God. However, those who follow Jesus do have God within them in the person of the Holy Spirit.
You might say, “Sure, but look: Jesus showed an unbelievable capacity to see people for who they are and to treat them based on what was in their hearts.”
Yes, he did. But perhaps we should expect to develop the same sort of ability to listen to and discern people’s hearts, even imperfectly.
Now, Jesus had a different relational style depending on who he was dealing with and the circumstances of the interaction.
Sometimes he used language that he knew would push people away, such as when he said, “Eat my body and drink my blood.” That certainly seems like something to say if you want to clear a room.
But other times he was plain-spoken and direct. He cut to the quick without any room for misinterpretation.
With crowds, he was a teacher and a guide. With his group of twelve, he was both master and friend, and he revealed himself in a closer, more trusting way.
Then he had an inner circle of three, with Peter, James, and John, that he was even more intimate with.
Interestingly, Jesus sometimes kept secrets or shared them with only a few. He trusted His inner circle with more, whether witnessing his transfiguration or raising Jairus’s daughter from the dead.
Today, there is an expectation for Christians to always be transparent and open with everyone, but Jesus wasn’t that way, even with some of his closest friends.
Jesus could be gentle or brutally frank. He was attuned to the motivations of the hearts of others, and he related to people according to the motives of their hearts. He treated people differently and uniquely.
How can we do that, too?
We listen to people. We don’t just listen to their words but to their hearts, through the signs and signals they give that many people look right past. We can pick up clues like a detective. And we can ask the Holy Spirit to guide us in this.
The Real Language
In the 1960s, studies by psychology professor Albert Mehrabian led to his ‘7-38-55 rule’ of communication, which suggests that only 7% of meaning is conveyed through spoken words, 38% through tone of voice, and a whopping 55% through body language. His findings are not a universal rule, but they illustrate an important truth: There is far more to what we communicate than just what we speak.
Think about it. How many of us have gotten in trouble with our significant other because we only paid attention to what they were saying, and we missed what they were really saying?
Maybe we ask our spouse how they’re doing, and they slam down the book they are reading and say, “I’m fine!” What happens if we answer, “OK, great”? Chances are, we’ll be in big trouble. We are expected to know our spouse better than that. To listen to their heart more than just their words.
When you live with someone for years, you hopefully learn to pick up on subtle clues. They might be tiny hints that other people would completely miss. Parents can often do this with their kids. Best friends might have this awareness. If we were playing poker, we could talk about a player’s ‘tell,’ the giveaway that they are bluffing or have a winning hand.
We all give outward signs that reveal what’s going on with us inwardly. Here at Soil & Roots, we call them the Eight Indicators.
We practice heart listening, which is, in part, learning to pay attention to these signs. And then using that attunement to the other person to love them well.
Heart Listening
Back in Season 2, Episode 33, I shared a whole episode on Heart Listening, and I encourage you to go back and give it a whirl because it ties directly to what we are discussing today, some 90 episodes later.
Here’s a very brief recap.
Heart listening is the discipline of attuning to others’ hearts, so that we may love and serve them better. And Jesus is a master at this.
In Mark 2, Jesus knows the motives of the Pharisees when he heals a man and tells him his sins are forgiven. The Pharisees try to trick Jesus with a loaded question, but Mark tells us Jesus “knew their hypocrisy.”
Jesus knew the motivations in Judas’s heart, and he knew that Peter would deny Him. Jesus knew the heart of the woman at the well. He knew the heart of the Syrophoenician woman.
And we see the same sort of heart-listening habit with the apostles in the book of Acts. Peter heals the lame beggar, a man who didn’t even ask for it. He discerns the selfish motivations in the hearts of Ananias and Sapphira, and he senses that Simon the Magician’s heart isn’t in the right place. Paul senses a man has enough faith to be healed without speaking to him.
People who walk closely with Jesus have an intense curiosity about the condition of the hearts of those around them. And, it appears, sometimes the Holy Spirit reveals it for truth or healing.
But God has also created us such that there are other ways, beyond the seemingly supernatural, to discern the heart issues of those around us.
For one thing, we can ask gentle questions that invite others into deeper, trusted relationships of formation. These questions show intense curiosity and genuine interest in the other person. At Soil & Roots, Greenhouses practice this habit.
As we listen to the hearts of others, we can pay attention to Heartview Indicators. All of Season 2 explored these Eight Indicators, which are thoughts, emotions, health, behaviors, relationships, words, and how we use time and money. Each of these indicators reveals what’s going on in our hearts, and sometimes they reveal a disconnect between what we profess to believe and the genuine ideas in our inner lives.
Examples
When it comes to the indicator of words, try listening carefully to what someone doesn’t say. What are the topics they avoid? What are the discussions they leave? What are the areas of hurt or sensitivity? And how can we gently and compassionately invite them into deeper relationships that can bring healing?
This model of interacting with others goes beyond merely hearing their words and receiving information. So much of the modern Christian ecosystem relies on that kind of system, on monologue instead of dialogue.
Beyond that, we live in a fast-paced, hectic world with little time or energy to spare. But heart listening requires us to slow down and be intentional.
Journalist Krista Tippett puts it this way: “Listening is about being present, not just about being quiet.” Or as psychiatrist M. Scott Peck once said: “True listening requires a setting aside of oneself.”
As we practice heart listening, we may realize that what’s said first is rarely what’s really being said.
My co-host, Dr. Tim, shared a personal story that illustrates this. He wrote,
“This past week, I had a day when I was struggling. I work mostly from home, but on this day, the work was piling up, the kids needed my attention, and I was just feeling overwhelmed and frustrated that I wasn’t getting enough done. I told my wife, Kristi, that I was going to work at a coffee shop for the afternoon and fixed a sandwich to eat in the car.
Before I left, I found a note from her on my lunch. It said something like, ‘Thank you for working so hard for your family! You are doing a great job.’
It was a really small thing. But it literally turned my whole day around. I felt seen. Kristi knows me so well that she could tell just by watching me that I was stressed. And she discerned why. I wasn’t saying it or even thinking it, but my heart was feeling this: I should be accomplishing more. And that ultimately meant this: I’m not doing a good job providing for my family.
My wife wrote exactly what my heart needed to hear on that note. And by the time I reached the coffee shop, I was smiling again. I realized how fortunate I am to have kids who want their dad involved in their lives and a wife who sees my heart and handles it with care. A few words on a sticky note made all the difference.”
And there’s another aspect to relational discernment to explore. Jesus both models and teaches what we can call shrewdness.
Shrewdness
The word ‘shrewd’ means “having or showing sharp powers of judgment” and means to be “astute.” And astute means “an ability to notice and understand things clearly.”
So, shrewdness is the kind of relational discernment that we’ve been discussing. It means being perceptive and seeing what others might miss, utilizing the wisdom and judgment gained from experience, and demonstrating keen awareness and understanding of situations and people.
But being ‘shrewd’ can have negative connotations, too. Shrewd people can be seen as calculating or sly, with a kind of cunning cleverness. Shrewdness can tilt toward good or evil. It can be used for one’s own advantage or for the good of others.
Sometimes that area of ‘goodness’ is a grey zone. We all like to think that God’s moral imperatives are strictly black and white, but reality is all kinds of grey. Some of the most challenging passages of the Bible acknowledge this, and often in these cases the word ‘shrewd’ applies well—the same word David used for God the Father in Psalm 18.
In Luke 16, Jesus relates the parable of the shrewd manager, one of His more vexing parables.
To sum up the story, a rich man has a manager who has done a poor job of stewarding the rich man’s wealth, so his master fires him. The manager thinks that he’s not strong enough to dig, and he’s too proud to beg, so he’d better make some other rich friends, and quick.
The manager goes to the merchants who owe his master money, asks them how much they owe, and then slashes their bills so they owe less. This way, he figures that when he’s out of a job, they will be grateful to him and offer him a position when his current boss kicks him to the curb. It appears he basically defrauds his boss to save his own skin.
Here’s where the story takes a turn. Jesus says: “The master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly. For the people of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own kind than are the people of the light.”
It’s a rather shocking statement. Jesus commends the manager’s cunning and seems to suggest that his followers could learn something from this.
Some Bible commentators have argued that the manager gave up his own commission in the debts owed. Others have pointed out that it was common practice to overcharge at the start because Mosaic law forbade charging interest to other Jews, so perhaps the manager was taking away the overcharge.
Dallas Willard suggests that the master did not know how to run his own business and would not have collected these debts anyway, so the shrewd manager at least got him something rather than just walking away, and this is commended.
Those may be accurate ways of breaking down the passage, but they also explain away the difficulty of the passage.
Nevertheless, most commentators agree that the manager was wise enough to plan for the future. If the unrighteous know how to use money to win friends and secure a future, how much more should God’s children utilize righteous means to act wisely with regard to Kingdom principles?
When Jesus sends out the Twelve in Matthew 10 to the lost sheep of Israel, he says they are to show relational discernment and change their actions based on how they are received. Jesus says, “As you enter the home, give it your greeting. If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.”
Jesus tells his disciples, “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore, be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.”
Like snakes and doves. Both shrewd and innocent —that is the balance we strive for. Sometimes it’s neither clear nor easy. It might be one of those dreaded shades of grey where there are no simple answers.
A Little White Lie?
Here’s another example that’s worth exploring: the Hebrew midwives in Exodus 1.
Pharaoh, worried that the Israelites are growing too numerous, orders the Hebrew midwives to kill every baby Israelite boy. But the midwives fear God more than the king of Egypt, so they disobey and let the boys live.
When Pharaoh summons them and demands to know why they’ve ignored his command, the midwives flat out lie.
Does God punish their deception? Quite the opposite. The Bible says, “So God was kind to the midwives and the people increased and became even more numerous. And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families of their own.”
Does this mean the Bible endorses dishonesty and lying? It would be hard to make that case, considering Ananias and Sapphira were struck dead when they lied in the book of Acts.
But there is a difference between lying to protect innocent life and lying to protect one’s own reputation or wealth. Our heart’s motivation seems to be a really, really big deal.
These are all difficult passages, but they point to a more complex, intricate Jesus that perhaps we’d like to admit.
Recently, The Wizard of Oz has been in the cultural spotlight again with the release of the movie Wicked, which tells the story from a new perspective.
In the classic story, the Wizard rules Oz from behind the curtain not by true magic but by using props, stagecraft, and showmanship. People believed he was a great sorcerer when he arrived by accident in Oz, and he maintains the illusion to keep order. When Dorothy’s friends arrive with their requests for a brain, a heart, and courage, he sends them on a quest and then ultimately grants what they desire.
But the Wizard realizes that the Scarecrow already has all the brains he needs, the Lion has courage, and the Tin Man has a heart. What they actually need is to recognize what they already possess. So he gives them symbolic gifts, and through the quest and their own growing understanding, they come to realize they had their heart’s desire all along.
This is shrewdness in action.
Now, sometimes the Wizard is shown as more of a hero, and sometimes as a villain. Should he have told Dorothy’s friends at the start that he had no power, but it didn’t matter because they already had what they were asking for? That would have been the honest thing. Would they have believed him, gone on the quest, and agreed they already had brains, heart, and courage? Probably not. They would have left the Emerald City dejected and cynical, maybe without ever realizing their own strengths and potential.
As Christians, is this kind of shrewdness something to imitate?
Wrap-up
We may sometimes be overly legalistic about what we perceive as right and wrong or demand complete transparency from one another because we follow Jesus. And for sure, the Bible lays out a moral code that leads to human flourishing, and if we choose to disregard it, leads to harm.
However, the Bible appears to endorse a certain shrewdness. And there’s a lot of nuance to how Jesus relates to others. What does it mean for us to be a shrewd and nuanced people?
Should we expect that, as we continue to be formed more like Jesus, we become shrewd, discerning people? That we withhold our hearts and even information from certain people in certain circumstances?
One thing is for sure – intentionally becoming people who listen to the hearts of God, others, and ourselves can only be good for the world. To become more attuned to God’s desires and to better serve those around us is a fantastic way to continue to usher in the Kingdom.
Author Parker J. Palmer writes, “To listen fully means to pay close attention to what is being said beneath the words… You listen not only for what someone knows, but for who someone is.”
Each person is wonderfully unique and deserves a wonderfully unique response.
